You plan to drop in, skim
the surface, not find yourself
caught. Cars highway-crawling
shopping centers sprawling
between open land and sky—
all as you remember. It repels
and draws, lodestone of home.
Just as the earth will have you
in the end, your birthplace tugs
you to the roots that shaped
and grew all your people, the same.
In that dark you examine your heart:
petals folded over petals, tight
unrelenting
Wow, this is so good! Especially this – “In that dark you examine your heart:
petals folded over petals, tight
unrelenting”
*****
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Thank you. It’s not funny how long I tinkered with the punctuation of those lines. I’m glad you liked it.
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I like the sense of alienation and pushing away and protecting, all mixed together. Things so often are not one way but are many ways, all swirled together…
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Yes, definitely, especially with family involved!
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Lovely image of the folded petals. Enclosing a whole world.
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Flowers for you, Jane. Even in winter. 🙂
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Winter hasn’t started yet, so maybe we can all share the last petals 🙂
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Yeah. It’s like that. 🙂
So well developed and clear, even though it is filled with a tempest. Nicely done.
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Heart-tempest, brain-tempest. Then an actual tempest, on our drive home. Thank you.
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Sometimes it all just comes together!!
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Beautifully crafted. I love the echo of the sprawling-crawling rhyme and the the rhythm that you’ve created, which adds to the sense of rolling along, slowly but as though it’s out of your (the narrator’s) control.
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Thank you for this comment about the rhythm. I’m not sure I intended it, but that push-pull and out-of-controlness definitely goes with the subject.
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Lodestone….I like that word choice. It really went with the sentence before it and what came after
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Thank you. Sometimes the right word just pops up and settles in, forcing all the other words to bend to its will. 🙂
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Feeling a little smothered being back near your family again, Jenn?
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Why, whatever would give you that idea?? (Actually home now, so I can write about it.) 🙂
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I really like, “Just as the earth will have you in the end, your birthplace tugs you to the roots that shaped and grew all your people, the same”.
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Thank you, Amy. (These were the first lines that came to me as we drove through TX.)
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Oh, this is me, going home. It is hard to love the sprawling shopping centers and cars on the highway, but you make them sound magical.
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Thanks, Meg. It is always so complicated! Life…humans…
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