I sit and write; I offer up my heart
though dozen other tasks more pressing loom.
My critic has it easy for her part
(I see her shadow growing in the gloom)—
She’ll say, this stuff won’t stand to any scans
of meter, subject, beauty, or of rhyme.
You fool! You know that e’en your so-called fans
will just suppose you didn’t take the time
to polish, think or work to hone your craft.
She’ll say, my child, you’re nothing but a hack,
this taking up the challenge, simply daft.
(She knows just where my soul is holed and black.)
And so, dear editor, confirm this fear:
Send your love note; I will wait (cringing) here.
Yeah Write’s February poetry slam is all about sonnets. Need I say, I do not feel comfortable with this form?
Aww love note or not, this is creative! “She knows just where my soul is holed and black.” Great line.
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Thank you. I’m glad that line made some kind of sense. 🙂
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Sonnets? I sneer too. Good for you.
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I don’t know how other people can write sonnets and make them sound so natural. Whenever “rules” come in it, I have an allergic reaction. 😉
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This is brilliant! I love your rhymes and the way you make her shadow a presence all the way through.
I think I have the same message for her as well. I’ve been struggling and struggling since Sunday to the point that, when my husband sees that I’m writing he says, “the sonnet again?” then leaves the room before I can snarl. I have about 6 partial ones, and all of them sound forced and ridiculous.
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I’m glad you enjoyed it. I’m sure your efforts are more lovely than you think. Don’t you think that writing in these older forms comes with heightened self-consciousness? I have a couple others in the works and am gritting my teeth over them, but having come this far don’t want to give up!
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I agree. Maybe the self-consciousness is in part due to the fact that I keep reading sonnets by amazing, famous writers for “research” (procrastination…). That and, as you said, the rules make it somehow sound forced. Oh, and you’re very kind but really, I promise mine are horrid!
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What, you want a love letter over one lousy trochaic substitution? You’ll have to try harder than that!
(Iambic pentameter makes me horribly self-conscious. It’s Christine’s natural habitat. I’m sure you’ll see the evidence of that next week!)
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Haha, yeah, because I meant to do that…trochaic…thing…
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Now I’m second-guessing myself. Could be spondaic depending on how you read it.
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Hee. Spondee was my first thought. You know, after I looked it up (again).
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You did it! I’m surprised you didn’t mean to change the pattern on “Send your love note”; it was the perfect place to break for emphasis. Like “Screw it! I dare you!” So far I’ve noticed sonnets lend themselves to one syllable words. Like putting the emphasis on the first and third syllables of “ED-i-TOR” threw me for a second, but once I backed up and read it again it made sense.
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I did play it pretty safe this time around. 🙂 You’re right about the one-syllable words. It’s hard to find a three- or more-syllable word with the right stress pattern, and that feels limiting. Oh, and rhyme. Ugh.
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I’ve noticed the same about the 1 syllable words. Which is why my 6 partial sonnets are so, so unsuccessful. I second your ugh. Again.
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Your 6 partial sonnets gave me an idea–we should totally do a group sonnet….exquisite-corpse style. 😀
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Yes! Then we’d only have a few lines to angst over. It would be very fun! And if we kept it fun, the self-consciousness and doubt would not increase with the pressure to measure up to the others…yeah…positive thinking 😉
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Because if we can’t have fun, then…why?
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So, first, this hits so close to home with all the insecurities of putting ourselves out there. Second, go for that sonnet form! Good job!
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I’m glad you could see the message despite the form. 🙂
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Brilliant! An ode to Rowan. 🙂 I don’t know how to write a sonnet and envy anyone with the chops to pull it off.
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I do hope she appreciated it. 🙂 We should all band together and make one that is epic in awfulness.
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Great job, Jennifer! We are all putting them up next week. I started but sonnets are hard if you don’t think iambically like Christine! I just hope I can have it done by Tuesday!
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“Thinking iambically”–exactly. I keep wondering how the “old guys” did it. It must have been so ingrained into their way of looking at the world?
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I got to the end of this and said “Bam!” out loud. I thought it was great! I love when sonnets are about unsonnet-y topics.
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Thanks, Emily. I don’t often get a “bam!” 🙂
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