Once it is written, the magic is gone.
Galaxied dreams become rocks after all;
sky-blazing-brilliant star turns into stone
once it is written. (The magic is gone,
memory sunk. These words, cold and alone,
conjuring mere disillusionment, pall.)
Once it is written, the magic is goneβ
galaxied dreams become rocks after all.
Playing around with the triolet for Yeah Write’s September poetry slam.
I think you nailed it! The triolet, that is! Well done, Jen. π
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Melony.
LikeLike
Definitely got the form.
But I think sometimes writing it down can magnify the magic too…or find magic you didn’t know was waiting there. (K)
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m of this school of thought, too. This poem included. If you didn’t write it down, the magic of thinking about this topic would not have occurred to me.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’ve had it happen both ways. π The thing that made perfect sense in my head but flopped on the page, as well as the muzzy idea that took shape once the words started flowing.
LikeLiked by 2 people
There’s also magic in transitions that make no sense…
LikeLike
Oh, lovely. You make it look so effortless. I’m hoping a couplet will come to me in the shower two weeks from now or something π
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’ll look forward to it. π
The first line had been hanging in my journal for several days, but of course the rest was harder. Thanks for the challenge!
LikeLike
Oh this is simply beautiful.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you!
LikeLike
That’s the thing though. When you write the way you have in this piece, the magic isn’t gone. It stays, lingers in the air for immeasurable seconds after you’ve read the piece and infuses itself into your soul. Such beauty.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m just going to paste this very sweet comment in my happy file, okay?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I loved the repetition in this – very melodic. Lovely job.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lovely triolet. Cosmic π
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m wondering how I got from magic to outer space in only 8 lines π
LikeLike
You can do anything in a poem π
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love your triolets! Your turn if phrase is vivid and captivated me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks very much.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome π
LikeLike
This form seems well suited to your style because of the playing around of punctuation to make different meanings. “Galaxied dreams become rocks after all” is my favorite line.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I admit, playing around with the punctuation was a part that I enjoyed. π
LikeLike
Beautiful as always, Jennifer. I did not pay much attention to the form, but this line: “sky-blazing-brilliant star turns into stone
once it is written. ” is gold. ***
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks very much–and I’m glad the form didn’t come over too hard and clunky. π
LikeLiked by 1 person
Absolutely beautiful!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you!
LikeLike
I started out trying to tell you which was my favourite line, but I can’t. I love them all! Galaxied dreams. Sky-blazing-brilliant. The rhyming of pall and all. As you know, that etherial and astronomical view of anything, but especially writing, gets me every time. But what I really loved about this was the idea that in the writing of some lofty dream or vision, some of the magic dissipates. I often feel discouraged by the forgotten layers of writings that just seem to pile on each other, out of sight. But your thoughts are, of course, far more poetic than that!
LikeLiked by 1 person
The “forgotten layers…” touched on something that Jenifer (below) and I have also talked about–the idea of writing around something. It’s impossible to display every facet in one poem. And the way we ourselves change means that what we want to say also changes. So we keep trying. π
Maybe some of your work was in my mind when I went astronomical! Thank you for your words.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sweet of you to say. And yes! I find myself writing and writing around the same topic or thought or idea, coming at it from different angles and never quite getting the whole thing.
LikeLike
So true for the poet. Hopefully, the magic them can begin for the reader!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s an uplifting thought. π
LikeLiked by 1 person
I really enjoyed this poem, and the discussion. I haven’t tried this form, very lyrical I thought. I’ve had similar thoughts, but more along the lines of once it is written, it’s no longer yours. A poem can have so many meanings to many different people. Yours just brought me back to that conversation. Very nicely done, a good write. Have a great day!:)
LikeLiked by 1 person
“Once it’s written, it’s no longer yours”–I think this is a good thing. π I’m always intrigued to learn which poems or lines within poems speak to people.
Thanks for brightening my day! I hope yours is great as well.
LikeLiked by 1 person