Forgive me. I’m afraid
I have been too distant,
my head unwrapped
spaghetti-string unwinding
down labyrinthine curves
Forgive me. Lightning
is pulsing from my soles
to the sky and it hurts
Forgive me. I’m afraid
I have been too distant,
my head unwrapped
spaghetti-string unwinding
down labyrinthine curves
Forgive me. Lightning
is pulsing from my soles
to the sky and it hurts
A sea-storm of cloud over just-dark:
brightness beneath, bats whispering
the air out of reach, breath held
breeze rattles black cherry
and the moon-rim rises, pulls clear
quivering against blue-black
Something more than five hundred
full moons I’ve been alive and why
this one night it transfixes me—
How many of those hundreds have I
completely ignored, blind to looking,
blinder to not be transfixed?
If it were ten times brighter, twenty
times, would I not soon forget it
just the same? Take all for granted:
bat-wing silence, leaves unfurling
in daylight, the rise and fall of waves,
countless fruits dropping to the ground
What good is it to notice the fruit
if I don’t look up to the tree? What good
is it to be transfixed by the moon
in a sea-storm cloud with you in bed
waiting for me to lower the blinds?
Inspired by last night’s moon-sky and a little interchange I had with Meg at Pigspittle, Ohio about Noticing.
unwind one of those days
that I cringe from (yearn
toward) human touch
no one likes to be accused
of failure—in the street
in the heart or anywhere
cookies aren’t the cure
nor a brisk walk! nor any bottle
don’t sell me your solutions
blessed are they who make
beauty: their fruit shines
over rivers of bitterness
don’t blame someone else
don’t blame yourself; leave
your sentence open-ended
I’ve watched you on the beam,
all long legs and determination.
Over and over the cartwheel
launched with good vision,
feet seeking blindly the graceful
finish, perfection.
I have to tell you now,
there is no perfection
on this gravity-massive earth.
But there is always-getting-better.
I’ll tell you this as well, though
you are not the girl for metaphor—
You need these same skills
for every challenge: balance,
trust, strength in the core.
I suspect we grew up believing
that Darkness wore only a monster’s face
or swirled, shrouded, in a mushroom cloud;
that one day our own children could go
past the garden gate and safely to school,
returning unshot, unstabbed, unstolen.
Perhaps our ideals—ages of ideas—
freedom, opportunity and all the lofty
stump-speech words are hogwash,
mere castings of mis-aimed minds.
Perhaps we are meant to be enslaved
by want, greed, violence,
misinformation and mistrust.
Except: Why the unquenched desire
for better? Why these frail,
beautiful humans endowed
with soul-language of every art?
Inspired by this fortnight’s Two Cents Tuesday Challenge: Expectations.
Fallow time, moon-dark: no power
of words nor healing much less
smiles tears or beauty-making
(feeble light flickers in clouded lantern)
You know the black river under
starless skies ever cold and silent
No remedy but surrender
touch bottom (source-love)
and resurface
Title borrowed from “We Lying by Seasand,” by Dylan Thomas.
Of course I am much younger than the old
man, my neighbor, his white head and legs
uncovered as he dozes with newspaper
in the sun. His yard is perfectly trimmed;
the garden surrounding the elegant green
is the wife’s doing, a riot of blossom in May:
roses, clematis, some German shrub I can’t
name. Oh, and a lemon tree. (In winter, it lives
in the glassed-in sun-room.) The wife is old,
too, pottering with her plants all day,
bending over in her rolled-up elastic-waist
khakis and on windy days, the fleece jacket
and her light curls all jumbled. (It is not
because I am getting old that I also wear
rolled-up elastic-waist khakis and potter
around the garden, talking to the plants,
or that I find myself sitting on the sunny
patio, dozing over this notebook.)
The one where you built, brick by brick
the half-walled flower bed, where we never
got around to the deck, where scorpions came
in the showers, where we set up the first crib.
The one-bedroom up a flight of dark stairs
where I wrote stories and school papers,
where we ate Hamburger Helper and the kitchen
rack slipped our wine-glasses to the floor.
The one with 1940s flooring and south view
of winter sun, where the laundry chute
opened on the basement where I worked
while my father died. The crib again, there.
The one with the teeny yard we cut with shears,
marigolds on concrete and opossums on the fence.
The one on the cul-de-sac with kids, a military circle
of playground, hospital, sleepless nights and 9/11.
The one I loved and you hated, money pit with
garden surround. Another crib, endless contractors.
Where you built, board by board, the deck,
where for 10 years we slept to rain on skylights.
This one, concrete-modern, echoing white and screenless,
where I have my very own workroom overlooking
neighbors’ lush gardens, where rain and stars are muffled
by a host of concrete houses, strangers shut within.
It is easy to forget, day by day, the places outside
of photos, the 22 years of furniture, curtains, carpet.
Where we fell into bed, fell into and away from each other,
began a new day again and again and again.
Last night, I glimpsed the full moon shining
through the balcony’s metal blinds.
You were sleeping but I wanted to tell you,
I would go with you anywhere, and still be home.