Minus 50, Plus 1

Sharing this project I started: For 50 days before my 50th birthday (and on that day), I wrote a short…something…and now for the 50 days after, I am adding decoration to each piece. The goal is a hand-stitched booklet.

opening

because in this closing of the year
i find another narrow door
to slip through—somelight
like you came into the world
all pent-up fuss and bother

more than true for once desire
to escape without admitting it—
sometimes
proclaiming it—

now these boxes and ribbons
become remembrance, smoothing over, wrapping up
and making pretty
ordinary, how mothers and daughters fit together,
spool apart

Winter Child

This is the day you couldn’t refuse
the world calling your voice truly
to all these falterings failings
moments of sweet elation
earth warming to you now

*

What joy? What lies? Wander
path through woods dark before
behind unlight untrodden

*

You are furnished whole
with everything broken
not to be solved
by poster-quotes or
equations or even what
we call love

*

Can you remember the mountains
spread beneath you a green hill
framed by crumbling stone
crumbling stone a Christmas
under stars under stars

*

The center is all that’s left
the petals fallen away
the fruit shriveled clinging
swaying in winter wind

*

It is not the time to fight
the phantom all those demons
crowding one by one to claim
the vacant house always
and never not quite arranged

*

Until your violet-tinged end
another tangled vine
another painting poem song
making
shifting patterns
against cold morning light