We’ve tried to measure this pit
pace it bit by bit
and examine, and not fear
its black pool. Could we submit
trammel soul to fit—
nothing? For nothing wells here
we slip, fall, fail again; quit
strife for dark (fine grit
of hope chafing deep, unclear)
An asefru for Yeah Write’s June poetry slam.
Graceful Press Poetry 
Like a deep depression (absolutely no pun intended)
And now I understand the asefru form.
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My first try at the form–I found it hard–but maybe I’ll try another.
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The chant in this became clear to me at the wonderful line: we slip, fall, fail again; quit
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I really liked the 7-5-7, it builds a nice rhythm. But the rhyming, argh.
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This is great. And I love seeing a new form. My poem last night is almost this, if I fixed the syllables per line. And the rhyme.
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It gets me, the rhyme. Every time. 😉
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So unclear. But also so dark and clear. (K)
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Thank you for seeing something in the fog. 🙂
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I really like this. I love the rhythm, By the last stanza, it sounds as if the someone is climbing and stumbling out of the pit. I think that’s my favorite part of the poem, too.
Now I know what an asefru is, too. (I want to try it.)
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Yes, try one! I had to put at least the word hope in that last stanza. I can count on you for the optimistic view. 🙂
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🙂
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I will have to remember to go back to this. Too much wine tonight–I can’t even process it right now. 🙂
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Agreed 🙂 Very effective pattern, and nice to discover the name for this particular form.
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So many forms, so little time…
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You did a great job with the asefru. I wasn’t ready to tackle it this week.
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Thank you. I did find it tough. Because rhyme. I hope you’ll try one!
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This poem has made me pause. Thanks!
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Thank you for letting me know. 🙂
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What a perfect asefru. I loved the first line of the final stanza. So much told in just a few words
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That’s very kind, Melony. Thank you.
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“Quit strife for dark” is wonderful. And the lines breaking across stanzas, and em dashes! I may try one to follow your example 🙂
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Yes, try one! And thank you. I will admit, my drafts often have many em dashes. I have to weed them out!
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Not a terrible thing! If work slows down before the end of the month, I will try one.
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That last stanza … wow.
Congrats on the recognition!
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Thank you!
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This is beautiful, Jennifer. Very deserving win! xoxo
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Thank you. 🙂
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