The forest path leads slantwise to the mill
through ancient pines thin-clinging to the hill,
and once a village throve here by the stream
that turned the wheel; thus for a time life teemed
with shouts and laughter, work and loves—now still.
Those lives long gone, what purpose did they fill?
Their words are lost, just tracings of their skills
remain. So life will pass for me, a dream
of forest path slow-winding past the mill
where water, just like time, unhindered spills.
Yet past its spilling, hear a distant trill
of bird, or dog-bark. See the sun’s late gleam
as beauty; worry less on how things seem
or what they mean. Another breath: distill
this forest path far-winding past the mill.
A rondeau for Yeah Write’s May poetry slam.
I love this. I like to think about mills, and this poem flows just like the water to the mill.
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Thank you. The form is supposed to be melancholy, so of course I started thinking about how much I missed my little German town and its forest trails.
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Wow, you tried the new poetry form at Yeah Write. Beautiful work. ***
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Thank you. I can honestly say, I have never written a rondeau before. It’s no joke that you have to be careful choosing your A/B rhyme words.
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Bravo! I am useless on rhyme and meter. Well done!
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Thanks. I always feel like I’m trying to write an essay when I do meter + rhyme; maybe that’s not quite the right approach…
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Ha! Maybe that is why I don’t do it. It just feels so bound up.
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Beautiful
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Thanks, Ruby!
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You are so brave to try a rondeau so soon! And one as perfect as this one. I am hopeless at rhyme and meter, so it’ll take me all month to get it right. Wonderful work!
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You are so sweet. I’m looking forward to what you come up with. No getting off the poetry slam hook!
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Aww man… now the pressure’s on. Hahah
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Lovely rhythm. Too right about choosing those first words that are going to need a lot of rhymes 🙂
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I made what I thought was a pretty long list of rhymes for “stream.” And proceeded to use/discard them quickly…
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I know the feeling. Just because it rhymes, doesn’t mean it’s fit for anything.
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This is perfect! Perfectly melancholy, with a wonderful lift at the end and a perfect treatise on life and time and the importance we place on our own experience of life. The flowing rhythm is reminiscent of the water in the river, the water that like time “unhindered spills.” Love that! But my favourite part of all is the way you alter the refrain slightly each time. Magic!
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“the importance we place on our own experience of life”–love that.
I confess, I altered the refrain out of sheer necessity. 🙂 But thank you for noticing. xo
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The water and the poem slant towards …nostalgia
Amazing a poem like this can even be written.
Hats off.
I still feel my emotions slanted.
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Thanks for the visit and the very kind words!
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This was so beautifully nostalgic and melancholy. I loved it. Excellent rondeau. 🙂
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I’m looking forward to yours! 🙂
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“See the sun’s late gleam
as beauty; worry less on how things seem
or what they mean.”
Yes! That’s my favorite moment.
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Very nice!
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Brilliant writing. Are you are Literature major?
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Very kind. I do actually have a degree in English literature & creative writing. 🙂
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Are you a Literature major? (sorry about the typo in my previous comment)
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