Niet Hebben

You will know without telling
the cause of my despair.
I cannot put it into words—
you must return me to life.

The cause of my despair
is in those nights, music-fired.
You must return me to life
under stage lights, roses, cheering.

In those nights, music-fired
I sang for you, for all joy in singing
under stage lights—roses, cheering
like wine, like love pouring.

I sang for you. For all joy in singing
we let slip the weight of brocade
(like wine, like love pouring)
to fill every corner of our need.

I let slip the weight of brocade;
I left the stage lights burning
to fill every corner of our need
time and again. Did you not see

I left the stage lights burning?
I cannot put it into words
time and again. Do you now see?
You will know without telling.

Still thinking about those undelivered letters. This pantoum is for Jane.

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14 thoughts on “Niet Hebben

  1. Amazing and powerful. I’m completely in awe of your ability to use a form such as this to tell your story. You make it feel effortless and natural. Your use of repetition is lovely – really emphasizes the emotions perfectly. And talk about getting into a character’s head!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, I have to credit another blogger for suggesting the pantoum (thanks, Jane!). I’m glad it worked out, and it was fun to do. Try one! And thank you for your kind words. I did get into her head, just a bit–couldn’t resist the fiction pull.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m glad you identified the form. It reminded me of a villanelle I read on this week’s yeahwrite fiction/poetry grid, but I knew it wasn’t quite the same. I agree with Ms. Silverleaf – the repetition is lovely.

        Liked by 1 person

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