a day of sun and rain either matches
or causes my mood; I vacillate
on the balcony-edge of ennui and imagine
we’ve arrived at a cross-roads again
I dress in gray and that’s not working
I drink tea and tree-gaze and that’s not working
we weigh this decision as if we had any sway
over these flighty earth-bound souls
(the sky is sudden in the hills—
watch clouds overspill forested heights
race wind-chastened down our valley)
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I like the idea to revise a poem, in other word to modify it… it seems you wanted to refine it… but I think the first version was perfect, and this one too… I finally wonder whether it’s really possible to “revise” a poem or not, we think we revise it, but in reality we write another poem, a twin poem… oh, I’m not sure what I’m trying to explain makes sense… in any case, i love the expression: “the balcony-edge of ennui”! Have a nice week dear Jennifer!
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Thank you for having the patience to read it again. 🙂 Maybe this is why I love the electronic format so much–easy to change and re-think and re-vision. A twin poem, I like that idea! I hope you have a wonderful week as well!
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